do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
