You're completely useless in the revolution.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
