i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
