I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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