margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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