Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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