I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
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