There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
look no pants
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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