this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
