I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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