i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
