I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
