You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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