hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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