Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
