do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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