The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You pole danced in your parka.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
