shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
