So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
