He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
