Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize