That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
