wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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