K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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