I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
