The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.