haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
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The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
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I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.