I heard we made out
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?