He is such a slut. More and more my type.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
