Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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