ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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