she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize