at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
