You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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