Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
