i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
where are my eyebrows?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
