definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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