my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.