nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
