planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
theres a video...