New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.