I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".