It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts