I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.