Screwed.edu
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
