HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
