what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
