Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
