You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
