her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
