Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
