I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
