I wish I only lived at night.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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