So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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