honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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