it wasn't lemon gatorade
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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