How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Randomize
