Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Randomize
