Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
