she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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