Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
