I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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