that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
