the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
