Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
