So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
